Month Two of the seven month fast started this week. It's clothing month and we're wearing only 7 articles of clothing for the month. We've played it fast & loose with the definition of "article" so here's my seven:
1. my black skirt
2. my blue Heart for Africa shirt
3. a lilac v-neck "nice" t-shirt
4. black yoga pants
5. black running shorts
6. Bathing suit and cover up (because we are at the pool most every day)
7. Shoes: running shoes and my pink flops (we all decided two pairs of shoes could count as one).
That's it. No jewelry other than my wedding ring. It's funny how many times I've reached for earrings over the past few days.
So here's what happened to me this morning. I was getting ready to go out with Streetwatch and check in on some of my homeless friends and I realized I hadn't put my Streetwatch shirt on my list. I don't HAVE to wear the shirt but I think it's really helpful when I'm walking up to a tent city that they can see it big on my shirt before they recognize me. And helpful when I'm walking up to someone on the sidewalk. Sort of a safety measure for them and for me. So I decided on day three of the fast that it was okay to break the rules and wear my Streetwatch shirt. I'll have to talk to my "council" about that! :)
But anyway, I put on my black Streetwatch shirt and then I have a predicament. I prefer to wear long pants to do homeless outreach. I never know where I'll end up - I might be out in the woods for awhile. Regardless, my options were black yoga pants, black running shorts or black skirt to go with my black t-shirt. I went with the pants and I looked like a mime... or maybe someone who changes the scenery during a play.
What's interesting is how much energy I put into fretting over the fact that I was going to go out and do homeless outreach while wearing an outfit that I didn't like. There was nothing wrong with my outfit practically... I just felt like a mime.
I am just soooo human. The irony of worrying about what I was wearing to go hang out with my friends who HAVE NO PLACE TO LIVE was not lost on me. I would have told you that I'm not vain. That I am really not into clothes. But today I had to face my own vanity. It's not pretty.
Today I thank God for the lesson, for the opportunity to see a part of me that is not at all like Jesus and have the chance to fix it.
And just to share a little bit about how God provides... I wasn't sure how many folks are at the tent city right now - a few folks have left so I didn't count exactly how many food bags we would need. We just packed some up and hoped for the best. Turned out we had EXACTLY the number we needed. I know that's a tiny detail... but my God cares about the details. :)