We have the latest news on our adoption and it doesn't look like I want it to. As of now, hoping that we'll have our son home by Christmas is out of the question. It's looking more like a 10 months to a year from now... or really 10 months to a year from when we get our referral, which we are still waiting for.
Our original plan for adopting? Bring the baby home this spring or summer at the latest.
This also means that we will know who our child is for 8-10 months before getting to go to court and have him be officially ours. Eight to ten months where we could potentially lose that referral. And ten months to a year of watching him grow up in an orphanage half a world away.
But do we give up now, just because it's going to be harder?
When I stand in church and sing "Where He leads, I will follow," I really mean it. God placed us firmly on this journey. He knew when we were filling out applications and making our own timelines that we would not be bringing this child home in 2011. He knew. He knows. And He sent us on this journey anyway. He knew this would be hard. He knows the heartache I will go through having to watch a child I love grow up for a whole year before getting to bring him home.
Jesus said, "Take up your cross and follow me." He never said "just be sure to have lots of fun at church pot-lucks." Following Him isn't always easy. But the reward is great. At the end of all of this, I will get to raise a child who would otherwise not have parents. What an honor!!! Some days, I still can't believe God chose us to be on this journey. I'm so humbled to get to serve God through all this. I pray that I will honor him at every moment, and especially in these bleak ones.
If it were my children who needed to be adopted, what would I wish for? What if something happened to Rob & me and the only way my children would be raised in a family would be for that family to wait for them for over two years. Would I hope there would be a family who would do it? Of course I would. My message to my child's birth mother is this: we love him, we value him, he is worth the wait.
I'm not going to abandon the path God set me on just because it's hard. And trust me, this is hard. I've shed tears and know there will be more. But I've also encountered joy and I know the joy of bringing home our son will be that much greater.