I'm a wreck.
I have started about four different blog posts since last night. They vacillated between positive, negative and downright bleak. I honestly am not sure I have words for what's going on in my heart right now.
We're not supposed to talk about what's going on in Ethiopia in public forums and I am going to honor that but I will say that, right now, things are not looking good for our adoption.
I am so scared. And I found out after 5pm on Friday so I can't contact my agency to see if they have more info. I am praying we'll hear something from them on Monday. What I've heard is not official so I'm trying not to get ahead of myself.
Please pray. Pray for the children in Ethiopia and for their government. And please pray for the families everywhere who want to parent those children. Pray for me, that I will have the grace and patience I need to get through this. There's so much we don't know right now.
What I do know is that God is aware of all of this. He knew it before I did. He knows how it will all turn out. He knows what my family is supposed to look like when we're all said and done adding children. I can add nothing by worrying.
But I think He's okay with it if I cry a little. It's part of that heartbroken thing, after all.