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Saturday, March 5, 2011

More Rollercoastering

I'm a wreck.

I have started about four different blog posts since last night.  They vacillated between positive, negative and downright bleak. I honestly am not sure I have words for what's going on in my heart right now.

We're not supposed to talk about what's going on in Ethiopia in public forums and I am going to honor that but I will say that, right now, things are not looking good for our adoption.

I am so scared. And I found out after 5pm on Friday so I can't contact my agency to see if they have more info. I am praying we'll hear something from them on Monday.  What I've heard is not official so I'm trying not to get ahead of myself.

Please pray. Pray for the children in Ethiopia and for their government.  And please pray for the families everywhere who want to parent those children. Pray for me, that I will have the grace and patience I need to get through this. There's so much we don't know right now.

What I do know is that God is aware of all of this. He knew it before I did. He knows how it will all turn out. He knows what my family is supposed to look like when we're all said and done adding children.  I can add nothing by worrying.

But I think He's okay with it if I cry a little. It's part of that heartbroken thing, after all.

7 comments:

  1. I love you. I'm praying hard. I know you have a lot of great outlets, but if you need to cry or vent, I'm always just a phone call away.

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  2. I am three down the list from you, and I want to tell you that I know how you feel, and I am sorry this is such a roller coaster!

    We adopted our 3rd child from Guatemala when they were shutting down, and we got her home by the grace of God. I am praying for our little ones in Ethiopia and praying that God moves the mountains. Hang in there!

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  3. Praying for you and for the whole situation.

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  4. I wake up with a prayer and say good night with a prayer...and now I will worker harder to send more all thoughout the day, for the children and the loving people who are waiting to bring them home ...
    -auntie-

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  5. I am so heartbroken for you. All I have to offer is another story-- we had friends who desperately wanted children, and could not have them. They finally made the decision to adopt a baby-- and were matched with twin boys from Vietnam. After the referal and court date had been set, there was a freeze of some sort, and all international adoptions were supposed to be immediately cancelled. Despite that, they are now raising their precious sons, who have been with them for nearly three years. God has a plan for you and your family and for these little children-- peace as you wait.

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  6. I'm so sorry things still aren't looking up. I will keep praying for you, your family, and your little boy.

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  7. I totally am with you! So sad and discouraging but is no surprise to our Creator. I find comfort in that! I am literally "praying without ceasing" these days. Let's "arm up" for our children. Be comforted that you are not alone in this.

    Mollie
    www.pagefamilyjourney.blogspot.com

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