Tonight we had one of those frustrating/rewarding moments when "Mommy" is the ONLY one who will do.
Allyn is a Mama's girl. She's getting better, but last summer she wouldn't even let Rob hold her at the pool if I was within viewing distance. Most of the time she's fine but when she has her "Mommy-only" moments, there is nothing anyone can do, short of coming to get me. I understand why she's that way - the child is with me 24/7 so of course she's not thrilled when I leave her. And usually she struggles on Sunday nights when our schedule's been off all day anyway and I go to youth group, picking the kids up around the time we are usually reading our last story for bedtime! No wonder it's hard for them!
Tonight, not even our wonderful preschool minister (who Allyn adores and is one of my close friends) was enough for poor Allyn. She was brought into the youth room, sniffling and red-eyed, whimpering for Mommy. Of course the minute I picked her up, she was fine and we ended up having a mini pizza party in the hallway with a little buddy of hers, who happened to be having his own "Mommy moment" at the same time.
Frustrating. Mostly because I don't get as much time with the youth group as I used to before I had kids so I really value every minute I get to spend with them. It had taken me 30 minutes to get Allyn to agree to stay in the nursery in the first place so I was late to youth group to begin with. Even though it is what I choose, being a (mostly) stay-at-home mom can be unbelievably difficult - I really am on call for my kiddos all the time. Always. 24/7. whew! With the exception of the 4 days a month that I work, I am with my kids the rest of the time.
But when I feel her little body relax against mine and I know that for now, I can make everything right in her little world just by holding her, my frustration melts away and I know I love being her Mommy. I know it won't last forever so for now, I don't mind the sacrifices I have to make in order to take care of my "Mama's Girl."
The hardest part is that it made me think about my other child, halfway around the world. The one who doesn't have a Mommy at his beck and call right now. And it made me think about the four million orphans in Ethiopia alone who call out for Mommy and no one answers. Ugh. Can you imagine? So many precious children with no parents. None. That is not okay with me.
This delay is taking a harder toll on me than I had thought. I took the news in stride at first, but now it's starting to sink in. I think it is so hard because I KNOW about orphans in Africa. I have held some of them in Swaziland and seen how desperately they want to be held, to be loved upon. And because I know, I am in a hurry to do something about it. And at this moment, there is NOTHING more I can do. The only thing I can do is wait as patiently as I can.
Please pray with me - we need this little delay to be as little as possible!