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Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Scared when I shouldn't be...

When I started this blog I promised myself I would always be honest about this adoption journey. I knew we were embarking on a rollercoaster journey but it's scary sometimes how the ups and downs happen quickly.  I hoped our blog would keep friends/family updated on what was going on but also to inspire others to pray about whether adoption might be right for their family.

Right now, I'm scared. This is not a good adoption day. I've had other not-so-good adoption days so I know I will be just fine but at the moment, I'm scared.  We committed to this adoption before we knew where all the money would come from. Irresponsible? I don't think so. We prayed so hard about whether this was really the right path for us and trust me, I even tried to convince God otherwise. So we committed. We are bringing this baby home no matter what. God isn't a "here's the plan first and here's your safety net, now go" kind of a God. He's a "trust me, follow me no matter what" kind of God. He asks us to make big sacrifices.  I wouldn't have it any other way.

As I researched grants/loans/fundraisers, I learned about the Both Hands idea (see blog post to learn more). I was so excited and thought "this is it! This is the fundraiser for us!" And I can honestly say I did not worry about the financial aspect of this adoption again.

Until now.

It's crunch time. Our letter-writing party is on Thursday. That means our AMAZING team of friends who have stepped forward to say they want to help is getting together to address envelopes and send out our fundraising letter. It will be completely out of my hands after that. It's up to those who receive the letters to decide how they want to help.

But this is the important part (that I need to remind myself of). This fundraiser is NOT about us raising money for the adoption. We will figure that out (or God will). This fundraiser is about glorifying God. It's about making the connection between widows and orphans and reaching out to a member of our community. It's about a team of people working together to help others, just like we are supposed to do! This kind of event shouldn't even be an "event" at all - we should be reaching out to each other all the time!

Tonight I pray that I will trust in the God who led me to this journey in the first place. That this isn't all about me or what I want to happen. I pray for every person receiving one of our letters - that the letter itself would be a blessing to them, whether they choose to give, or pray for us, or decide to look into adopting themselves one day. Above all, I pray that this entire experience will point to Jesus. That, in all that we do and say, He will be the one who gets all the praise for the outcome.

1 comment:

  1. Preach it, sister!!! Praying for you!!! Can't wait to see how it goes!!! Ps- I'll call you tomorrow and we can iron out our date details.

    ReplyDelete

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