Will y'all please remind me of this?
Here's why... I have this bad habit. I stalk other adoption blogs & look at the timelines down the sides of their blog pages. And I count days/weeks/minutes/whatevers from one event to the next and then compare it to how long it has taken us. It's purely for informational purposes, I promise... until last night! Last night I noticed that one family went from getting their CIS approval to being on the wait list in FIVE DAYS! FIVE DAYS! 5! F-I-V-E! That means if my employer letter hadn't been messed up maybe we would be placed on the waiting list this week. But it won't be so for us because I just got the new employer letter TODAY. And it still has to make its way to NY to our dossier service and from there to somewhere in NC to be authenticated and possibly one more stop before our entire dossier is done. (Praise God for the dossier service because I don't have to do any of that part!)
And in the spirit of having the wrong attitude... instead of celebrating that I have that final, completing document in my hot little hand today, I'm lamenting the fact that it got messed up in the first place and that it took so long (17 days, not that I'm counting) to get a new one. And Fed Ex is closed on Sundays so I can't make Rob go there tomorrow & mail off our package. And I promise I am resisting the temptation to overnight the package on Monday, although I'm sending Rob to mail it because I don't think I'll be able to resist the temptation once I'm standing at the Fed Ex counter.
Okay, here's the part where I gain some perspective. Our agency has a cool quote on some of their paperwork: "The right child at the right time." I believe that. I really do. I know God is in control of this whole process and the fact that we won't get on the waiting list for a few more weeks (I hope I'm over-shooting here but I really have no idea) doesn't change anything. But when you have so little control over the process it's so hard not to stress about the tiny things you can control.
A friend of mine who adopted from Ethiopia told me this week that when she thinks back to the time they were going through the adoption process it doesn't seem all that long. She said that while holding her beautiful daughter in her arms. I can't wait to be looking back. 'Cause right now everything seems looooooooong.
When our CIS approval came we were so excited and I was throwing Allyn into the air & catching her again to make her laugh (and get her excited since she had no clue what the rest of us were excited about). And I kept thinking about how our next baby might be around her age when he comes home and what it will feel like to be holding HIM in my arms. For now I'll just have to be content to dream about it.
My prayers today sound like this: I've been praying for patience for the past few years, Lord, and boy are you giving me an opportunity to gain it. Thank you thank you for the privilege of going on this incredible journey. I really can't wait to hold that child in my arms but I know that now is not the time. Please hold him for me until I can do it myself. And please grant me your grace and peace until that day comes. Oh, and by the way, thanks for the two AMAZING little ones you have already blessed me with... if there's anything that will make the time go by more joyfully it's those two!!